Over forty years as a marriage and family therapist, I have had the privilege of learning from my clients. I have had the opportunity to observe and study what makes lasting love. The below list identifies the kind of vows and commitment statements that lead to happy and lasting unions.
* We will provide safety to be honest and true to ourselves
* We will choose love instead of fear and attack thoughts
* We will treasure our connection and maintain an open heart to one another
* We will treasure our children and grandchildren
* We will be there when our family needs us
* We will move away from chaos toward unity and healing
* We will take turns serving as leader
* We will maintain spiritual practices that open our hearts and minds to love and transcend our egos
* We will make a conscious choice at moments of aggravation to step back, cool off and not lose sight of the pain of the other
* We will remember that true strength is not mean spirited but calm and clear
* We will respect that love partakes of the soul and that our soul is vulnerable
* We will celebrate everyday and guard the happiness of one another
* We will tell the truth with love
* We will allow negative feelings to flow through us without becoming attached to them
* We will invite the presence of God into our life
* We will focus on joy, love and miracles
* We will support one another’s dreams
* We will seek inspiration and wisdom about relationships
* We will not expect perfection in a changing world, instead we will perfect our love
* We will remember May Sarton’s caution to be gentle with one another in this brief time for we shall die in exile far from home
* We will remember that what matters in life is how much we have loved
* We will set goals together that are life-enhancing for us and our family
* We will be love finders rather than fault finders
* We will both be givers in our marriage
* We will kindle the spirit of the other
* We will encourage one another’s individual interests
* We will share magical moments of love and laughter
* We will help one another face fears and pain and use them for transformation
* We will help one another find joy amidst suffering
* We will help the other remember the song of the heart
* We will model joy, love and meaning in a marriage for our children and grandchildren
Going through this list with your partner is a great couples exercise. Acknowledge the vows you have kept, and discuss the ones you both need to work on. A relationship filled with lasting love is something to treasure forever
Over forty years as a marriage and family therapist, I have had the privilege of learning from my clients. I have had the opportunity to observe and study what makes lasting love. The below list identifies the kind of vows and commitment statements that lead to happy and lasting unions.
* We will provide safety to be honest and true to ourselves * We will choose love instead of fear and attack thoughts* We will treasure our connection and maintain an open heart to one another* We will treasure our children and grandchildren* We will be there when our family needs us* We will move away from chaos toward unity and healing* We will take turns serving as leader* We will maintain spiritual practices that open our hearts and minds to love and transcend our egos* We will make a conscious choice at moments of aggravation to step back, cool off and not lose sight of the pain of the other* We will remember that true strength is not mean spirited but calm and clear* We will respect that love partakes of the soul and that our soul is vulnerable* We will celebrate everyday and guard the happiness of one another* We will tell the truth with love* We will allow negative feelings to flow through us without becoming attached to them* We will invite the presence of God into our life* We will focus on joy, love and miracles* We will support one another’s dreams* We will seek inspiration and wisdom about relationships* We will not expect perfection in a changing world, instead we will perfect our love* We will remember May Sarton’s caution to be gentle with one another in this brief time for we shall die in exile far from home* We will remember that what matters in life is how much we have loved* We will set goals together that are life-enhancing for us and our family* We will be love finders rather than fault finders* We will both be givers in our marriage* We will kindle the spirit of the other* We will encourage one another’s individual interests* We will share magical moments of love and laughter* We will help one another face fears and pain and use them for transformation* We will help one another find joy amidst suffering* We will help the other remember the song of the heart* We will model joy, love and meaning in a marriage for our children and grandchildren
Going through this list with your partner is a great couples exercise. Acknowledge the vows you have kept, and discuss the ones you both need to work on. A relationship filled with lasting love is something to treasure forever.
Going through this list with your partner is a great couples exercise. Acknowledge the vows you have kept, and discuss the ones you both need to work on. A relationship filled with lasting love is something to treasure forever.
Author: Dr. Linda Miles